just fuck it all up
by TheTrueCthulhu
Summary: in which Naruto and sasuke's consciousnesses are sent back to the first day of the academy. I don't expect this to go anywhere so you shouldn't either, but if you pick it up ask me cos I have a general idea of what I wanted to happen


It was the first day back at the academy(second year), and our hero was waiting for iruka sensei to call on him for his introduction. He had spent the time others talked about themselves planing his own presentation that would fit his mask the best. That was when he felt someone poking his arm.

"Yo sensei said its your turn dead last."

"Shut it saskue dog breath! (Insert indignant 'hn' from sakue) Im naruto uzumaki and i love ramen, and im gonna be the next hokage dattebayo!" Naruto announced with an overly zealous attitude. Then he heard à chuckle from the back of the class. He spun round to identify the voulenteer to his nexr prank and the chuckle developed into à full blown laugh.

"Man that is à brilliant act! Too think that the oly truth in that little speech of yours was 'datebayo'!" À mysterious man called out.

"W-what do you mean?" Naruto called out, worried that someone had broken through his mask

"I'll show you what i mean! You are naruto uzumaki-namikaze! Son of the yellow flash and konoha's red hot hanberito! Jinjuriki of the kiuubi no kitsune, strongest of the biju! I am here to give you and sasuke memories of à _kinda shitty_ possible future and give you both the power you psessed at the age of 18!" With that the man cliked his fingers, called out à 'ja ne' and disaapired. As knowledge and power passed through naruto his eyes widened and he instantly dropped his happy go lucky mask.

"Well shit, looks like ive got people to kill."

"Like who?" Someone called out after snorting.

"Well first there is madara uchiha, the fucker is trying to take over the world, then there is orochimaru no sannin with the experiments he has been carying out, after that i need get rid of danzo shiruma, for like, shit tonnes of illigal activities, and then theres is -" naruto was cut short in his list of aubsurdly powerful ninja as sasuke screamed out.

"I cant take it any more!" The boy shouted as he pounced, knocked the uzumaki out of his seat, straddled his waist and stole his lips, ignoring the wails of dispare comming from the 20 fan girls in the room. Then the entire class watched as sasuke's form flickered and turned into à girl with à pettit frame and long black hair that reached her curved hips. The class was silent untill naruto called out,

"Whst the hell was that?"

Just then the mystery man fazed back into existance, "didnt you know? This is sasuki uchiha, the girl you took à beating for two years ago."

I can see that," naruto snapped back, "i meant the kiss!" Naruto looked back down at the figure of à girl he thought was dead, à girl who was now snuggeling into his chest after unzipping his jumpsuit to reviel à well tonned, yet hevily scared body.

"Oh that, that was probably just twelve years of lust, love and female hormones directed at you"

Àn ambitious student spoke up from the back of the class, "if thats true why didnt it happen to naruto?" This questions gained several inquisitive looks, so the man decided to answer.

"That would be the emotional conditioning he put himself under after the first attempt on his life."

Annother student called out annother naruto related question, "when will that be?" As sasuki started to answer that it was à month after they graduated, in four years time naruto cut her off, "it was when i was three, leave it at that please, its not my favorite memory."

The class was left gaping at that comment, how could naruto of all people been targeted. Finaly Ino spoke up, "how many attacks have you had naruto?"

"Depends on what you mean realy… Basic beatings are arround 4000, arround half as many from the hospital and then between drowning, stabbings, beetings gone too fare, living buerrials, dumping me in the forrest of death, hangings and à couple of times burning me at the stake, probably 700." The mystery man helpfully answered.

"And thankyou for revieling part of my life that i worked for twenty years to cover up jackass!" Naruto Spat out in retalliation, flaring the kiuubi's KI. Then he returned his attention to sauski, "can you get off me for à seccond please?"

"No!" Came à quick reply from the girl snuggeling into his chest.

"Why? Naruto questined curiously, not understanding her refuseal.

"Its comfortable!" She pouted out childishly, an odd look for à suposed avenger. Then getting up to look the blond in his eyes, "also i now know the man i am betrothed to is alive and also happens to be the same foxy-kun i fell for when we were five" she whispered softly. The girl started to chocke up for no apparent reason. "I miss them naruto, the ones who left me, kaa-chan, tou-san, anki, shisui-nii… Please dont leave me." The girl was now begging quietly, sobbing into the chest that she had just been cuddeling. Then the unexpected happned, she was embraced by the boy below her, and she let loose. She forgot about the class that was watching her. She focused on her love before her, à boy who shoukd hate her by all rights but still accepted her, wanted her. Her life had been lead by spite and she had had enough, she wanted it to end, truthfuly, all of it to end. She had never wanted to be à ninja in the first place, only continuing for her revenge, but now that she had revenge she had no real motivation. no idea what to do.

while she was in her downward spiral of confusion Naruto spoke up, "I think we should probably go see Jiji, seeing as we are far more powerful than any academy student... ever." and with that, he shushined themselves away. 

**AN/ don't expect this to go anywhere, its just an idea, like most of what I send, it will be a chapter or less, more likely a single scene, those are fun. I don't own anything here so if you want to take the idea, or even continue the story, feel free. **

**the true Cthulhu 9**


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